The Mommy Brain Blog

I'm off tomorrow for a few days of a veritable mommy-brain vacation -- heading to the beach with four wild boys under 9, three other stressed-out parents, and two grandparents who may end up hiding in their own cabin the whole time, only venturing out for shellfish after the boys have fallen asleep. So I'm going to take a break from my essayish approach, pose some questions, and ask you guys to do some work for a change, hoping to gather your emailed thoughts on my return, and start one or two discussions.

1. If there are any grandmas reading this, I would love to hear any stories you care to offer about whether there's a unique "Grandmommy Brain" -- what mental advantages, if any, you have discovered in being around your grandkids. I'm doing some research on this topic, as it seems a favorite question from audiences where I've spoken so far. I'll keep you posted.

2. For moms and dads -- does anyone feel what they've learned in parenting has actually been appreciated by their bosses? It would be great to have some stories to share about whether parents' special talents are recognized at all in the workplace.

3. For anyone with wisdom to offer: what have been your most effective techniques to discourage your child's rampant materialism? Having written a book about mothers by no means implies 'm aceing my own domestic tests, and one hurdle I'm still stumbling over is the way my kids immediately start asking for things any time I bring them into stores. Spaulding Gray, in his wonderful book, "Morning, Noon and Night" wrote how his son never asked for anything in stores, a passage which still haunts me, not least because that didn't keep Gray from killing himself soon after the book was published. I know I'm probably erring in giving my kids what psychologists call intermittent rewards -- the little plastic Yodo, the jawbreaker, the new "Incredibles" video (though we all enjoyed that one). Perhaps I should just never, ever buy them anything when we're together in stores. (I do have a rule never to give in to a tantrum, at least.) I'm working on it, but am very interested to know if anyone has good advice on this point. We don't live lavishly, but we live in a county which does. And sometimes I just have to take them along to the grocery or drug store. For support, I turn occasionally to the wonderful Center for a New American Dream, although for some reason I can't access their site today.

Anyway....I'll be back soon...wish us luck!